We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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