my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
