yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
