Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
