Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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