I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
