Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
