after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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