I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize