I skipped work to stalk him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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