Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
