yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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