Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
