I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize