it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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