after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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