positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize