i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
