I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
