I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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