Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
