I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
