When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
