Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
