i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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