It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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