Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
