Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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