Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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