She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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