So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize