Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
