i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She bit a glass in half.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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