thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
