@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
