Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
