My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She told me I should be a condom model.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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