we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
