one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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