question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize