There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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