This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
