Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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