I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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