Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
50% drunk capacity currently
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
