God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
