I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
