it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My first STD was from a foam party
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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