I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you never un-have a 4some
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
