She is in my trunk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize