Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I am morally bankrupt
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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