I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize