What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
