Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
