wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
