By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
