I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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