Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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