Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
