all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize