is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
