a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
