The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
