ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
