idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
did i just pee glitter
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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