addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
