dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
